As an active mother have you spent time juggling between being a proactive parent and a reactive parent?
Like many of you, I too have been reactive to my 8 year old son calling out “stop” when I see him in some trouble or danger or when in frustration, I yell, “Enough. You are not going to or doing this.”
On the other hand, I am proactive at times when I say “You will get 10 minutes of break and then get back to your studies.”
As time goes on, many parents realize by being proactive or causing influence of what happens in the house, is the more positive place to operate when it comes to teaching your children.
But, sadly most of the times many of us become more reactive than being proactive with our children when it comes to parent-child interaction.
You lose your calm, get tired and frustrated and start doing and saying the same things that you set out not to do: react.
You start falling back into a pattern of negative interactions as you expect the situation to be as bad as it was previously.
This brings the thought of being frustrated or disillusioned at your parenting ability, right?
And an array of questions come to your mind like, “where did I go wrong?” and if you ask your child, they would say, “Why are you like this?” or “Why do you do this every time?”
It is time to make a conscious decision to stop falling back into a reactive position and become more proactive in the situation. So here are 6 easy ways to become more proactive parents and stop doubting your parental abilities.
Raise yourself more effectively to raise your children.
Self-development of parent leads your child into finer child behavior, only when you can set yourself as a good example to them. Look for better ways to relate with your child.
Try to approach child rearing as a learning opportunity to grow from and develop into a conscious individual.
2. Less of Dependency on Parents
I have always given my son the opportunity to make his choices for his development by giving him some independent decision making choices. Of course it always went with the advice of the upcoming transition out of that decision.
So, you can present a situation as a choice, when in reality, it’s something you want them to do.
“Do you want to ride your bike with your helmet or play basketball?”
3. Stable, Peaceful and Harmonious Environment at Home
This attribute as a parent as well as any adult family member is vital for the development of a child into a fine child and for a healthy attitude.
A stable, peaceful and harmonious surrounding will help provide the necessary support for the child to demonstrate a healthy attitude and behavior. When your children sees you happy, they feel secured and develop a positive attitude towards their own life.
Some ways to do this is to have quiet time or have zones in your house that are for quiet time.
4. Learn to Stop Being Reactive
When things aren’t falling into place, do not react by yelling, threatening of the consequences or getting frustrated.
Learn to keep your cool.
Just make your child feel your presence around them and that you are aware of their behavior and you are not going to react in a negative way. Perhaps you may need to change your approach with your child and find out what works best for them.
Every child has varied set of adaptation interest.
5. Time to Change Your Strategies
I have realized that strategies that used to work earlier isn’t working now.
As your child grows and develops, his/her needs and responses keep on changing.
So, when a strategy isn’t working any more that means you need to think of some other idea to win your child’s trust. If your child is resisting eating or studying, try and find out some fun ways to engage him/her and it works.
I have tried and implemented this method during my son’s study time. When he gets bored during his study-time, I allow him a break of 5-10 mins to let him draw his favorite bot’s picture or make a robot out of blocks. After the break he is happy and refreshed, willing to continue further with his school assignments.
Basically, the child needs to be energized.
6. Deal with Ongoing Behavioral Situations
This is a situation commonly faced by parents and requires regular checks.
Instead of reacting try and find out the factors or triggers contributing to a particular behavior.
It might be due to hunger, boredom, craving for your attention especially when you are doing your chores or tending another child or simply as they are unable to communicate particularly toddlers and infants who need a nap or are hungry.
Look at the situation from the child’s point of view and knowing the probable trigger will help you work out a potential solution.
S,o don’t let reactive behaviors steal the joy, if you are blessed with children, as they are there in your life for some time. Your relationship with your child is precious.
Do you face challenging behaviors which forces you to be more reactive than being proactive? What did you do to get back to binge positive and proactive Share your thoughts with us here on Life Style Body.